We are the sum of our burning. No burning, no being.
– John Burdett
Earlier today I wrote about Uranus Square Pluto
It’s revolutionary energy, and it is so easy to get caught up in revolutionary feeling.
I think it is equally important to remember that often, change is PAIN.
Yes, it is also sweet relief, to let go of living a lie, for example.
to change inner habits,
to make contact, in hopes of a dialog with your own self-loathing,
to acknowledge the level to which fear has imprisoned your life,
to take in the scope, the vast cinematography of the number of years,
you have wasted on dreams that sold you short.
The people you held dear who never loved you, never fully could even see you.
To hold this in your consciousness,
and not deny or pledge allegiance to ANY of it: pain,
and importantly, grieving.
What is required is that you stay still enough to
fully experience and to tolerate the wretched intolerableness of your feelings.
The wave of emotion, that makes any distraction seem genius,
no matter how far fetched or pathetically stupid.
Healing pain requires a witness,
for deep internal changes one of the witnesses must be YOU.
This is not pleasant!
This is ugly painful work that will reward you a thousand fold.
In a sense, this is not about what has been done to you.
This is about how you learned to live with what has been done.
Sorrow, genuine sorrow, helps us to release.
As we cry ’till we vomit, as we shock our very souls, as we see where we have betrayed ourselves, an alchemy of liberation begins to take place.
One can feel almost giddy, knowing what could have killed you, but did not.
Being SEEN shrinks demons.
Oh they come back, but they are never as strong as they were the first time.
Something in their grip loosens,
you can breathe more freely, an opening is perceptible,
a space for change
Our biology seems to require pain on some level,
and psychology is no different.
Fire is hot, and what goes in to it,
will not be the same as what comes out.
Pain is tremendously informative, we can not make it through this world without it.
Childbirth hurts for a reason,
To bring something new into the world isn’t easy, why should it be?
Pluto and Saturn are in Mutual Reception
To admit to your human frailty, and take your place in the chain of life,
that is the work. There are no shortcuts, and on some level,
as we all know so well,
the more you try to circumvent, the longer it takes.
Experience grows you, if you can stand to feel, and inexplicably,
experience itself will not let you grow, until you CAN feel.
How long, and where do you remain frozen?
What do you need to feel?