The Uses and Mechanics of Pain


We are the sum of our burning. No burning, no being.
– John Burdett

Earlier today I wrote about Uranus Square Pluto
It’s revolutionary energy, and it is so easy to get caught up in revolutionary feeling.

I think it is equally important to remember that often, change is PAIN.
Yes, it is also sweet relief, to let go of living a lie, for example.


to change inner habits,
to make contact, in hopes of a dialog with your own self-loathing,
to acknowledge the level to which fear has imprisoned your life,
to take in the scope, the vast cinematography of the number of years,
you have wasted on dreams that sold you short.
The people you held dear who never loved you, never fully could even see you.

To hold this in your consciousness,
and not deny or pledge allegiance to ANY of it: pain,
and importantly, grieving.

What is required is that you stay still enough to
fully experience and to tolerate the wretched intolerableness of your feelings.
The wave of emotion, that makes any distraction seem genius,
no matter how far fetched or pathetically stupid.

Healing pain requires a witness,
for deep internal changes one of the witnesses must be YOU.
This is not pleasant!
This is ugly painful work that will reward you a thousand fold.

In a sense, this is not about what has been done to you.
This is about how you learned to live with what has been done.

Sorrow, genuine sorrow, helps us to release.
As we cry ’till we vomit, as we shock our very souls, as we see where we have betrayed ourselves, an alchemy of liberation begins to take place.
One can feel almost giddy, knowing what could have killed you, but did not.
Being SEEN shrinks demons.
Oh they come back, but they are never as strong as they were the first time.

Something in their grip loosens,
you can breathe more freely, an opening is perceptible,
a space for change

Our biology seems to require pain on some level,
and psychology is no different.
Fire is hot, and what goes in to it,
will not be the same as what comes out.

Pain is tremendously informative, we can not make it through this world without it.
Childbirth hurts for a reason,
To bring something new into the world isn’t easy, why should it be?

Pluto and Saturn are in Mutual Reception
To admit to your human frailty, and take your place in the chain of life,
that is the work. There are no shortcuts, and on some level,
as we all know so well,
the more you try to circumvent, the longer it takes.

Experience grows you, if you can stand to feel, and inexplicably,
experience itself will not let you grow, until you CAN feel.

How long, and where do you remain frozen?
What do you need to feel?

Love YOU!!!


This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to The Uses and Mechanics of Pain

  1. connelly567 says:

    These past two posts have been the culmination of the last 4 years of my life. I am at the losing friends(so called), colleagues, etc. phrase and I’m fine with it. As a Libra, I don’t have to tell you that this sign has been through hell so the devil doesn’t frighten us. Saturn is transiting my 12th, Uranus my 5th and this July, transiting Jupiter will be visiting my 8th house Cancer where it will live with my natal Uranus Rx. Do I seem frightened ? No, just full of anticipation along with the Grand Water trine. Your posts are spectacular

  2. This one seems especially….something. focused? Austere? But whether I’m reading myself into it or not, I love it. Walking wounded still, in waves of pain. It always helps me to know/remember others think and feel along the same lines. Thank you.

  3. o_lightning says:

    Hi connelly567,
    Thank you so much, and thanks for writing!
    With that set up, when Jupiter hits your 5th sounds like a good time to use your originality/creativity to make some $. Make your dreams tangible. You don’t sound frightened at all. You sound like you are ON IT. Lots of love, xo

  4. o_lightning says:

    Hey Django,
    You are so welcome. Going all the way through the feeling to the other side that feels like freedom, that is a worthwhile journey! xo

  5. connelly567 says:

    I assume you mean when Jupiter hits my 8th house, not the 5th.

  6. o_lightning says:

    Yes, Jupiter 8th to hit your natal Uranus rx, right? Uranus transiting the 5th as you say! I’ve typed so many things backwards today!

  7. o_lightning says:

    but I did, mean what I said about the combo! : ) it fits with transiting Saturn in the 12 just right.

  8. connelly567 says:

    Transiting Jupiter 8th to natal Uranus. 8th Transiting Uranus in the 5th.
    Another thanks about Saturn in the 12th. This is also a great help. Up to now, Saturn in anything let alone the 12th scares me.

  9. o_lightning says:

    Hey, connelly567,

    Saturn in the 12, is a great time to kill (Saturn) your fears (12th), to make real (Saturn) your faith (12th), or your dreams (12th) Think of it as a time when you can give concrete form to the ethereal. <3

  10. connelly567 says:

    You’re a darling. No astrologer has ever made the 12th sound so promising. You have given me great hope for the next 2 years before Saturn crosses my AC into first house Sag. I feel much better.

  11. o_lightning says:

    Hi connelly567, I’m so happy to hear it! The 12th house is an infinite place, and it’s easy to get spooked in the dark. You can think of Saturn in the 12th as ~trust your instincts or else!~ hahahaha.
    I’m so happy you are feeling better. much love.

Leave a Reply