The following bit of writing is a speech I gave on December 21st 2018 at the Whitney Museum in NYC. I wrote this piece for an event which was part of a series called 12 Shouts to the Ten Forgotten Heavens by playwright and performer Sibyl Kempson and her theater company, Seven Daughters of Eve. I had been working with Sibyl for a few years on the themes and symbolism for these solstice and equinox performance happenings. She is a frequent collaborator, (we do the StarShine Show podcast together with Tei Blow, a link is coming soon!) and a passionate and generous human. I’ve been reminded by the sky to look at this writing again. Chiron is has been tres active these last three months, So here we are, paralyzed, held into place as we discover what hurts.
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I want to say also, that there will be a lot of waste. It will take too much time. You won’t be able to get it right. That’s it. You are doing it, move ahead.
We are all trying so hard right now to not let go, of our lives, our impossible circumstances, the reality, the facade we have constructed, and at the same time we can see that we have to. We have to tear the past in half even as part of what we are tearing is ourselves, and our desire to maintain, to have an understandable, a comprehensive structure under which, and even more importantly within which we can live.
That is gone now. You are holding it like a piece of paper and the wind will rip it from your hands and you will watch it taken from you, as the wind takes things, in it’s own time and without regard for meaning in the way you are able to understand it.
There is no constructed meaning. It’s humbling, and standing there is not enough. You will be forced to move your legs, your feet, even your arms and the rest of you. You will have to carry yourself to another place. And as you go you will see the earth reshape itself around you. New colors, new objects. No security.
On February 18, 2019, Chiron will move from Pisces, where it has been since February 8, 2011, to Aries where it will be until June 19, 2026. A new individuality is coming. We will step out of a collective sense of pain and responsibility in to a personal one.
And in order to do that, we will have to risk being seen in ways we have not dared before. Our underbelly will be showing, and we will have to stand there, and acknowledge it. YES. That is my soft underbelly, that is my fierce source of power. I will draw myself up like a warrior. I will not wait for these problems to solve themselves. Because that’s part of it, right?
We are waiting, and now, even if, even as, we are pushed out the door of the airplane, already teetering at an unthinkable, and yet absolutely logical, a measurable distance from where we are going, even if we are pushed, at some point, and that point is now, we will still have to jump. Make the choice. Not with words, with your feet, your arms and hands with your blood, split open your solar plexus to allow the new energy access to your heart. Your head will be throbbing, and you will have a headache that doesn’t leave for weeks. Let it in. Let it work it’s entire way through your body. Say YES. That’s who I am, that’s who I need to be.