Pisces Full Moon, September 20, 2021

It’s messy and human and wet. And analytical and indecisive and passionate and stubborn, and compromising and hopeful and hopeless and delusional. It’s all bets are off and it’s when we are protozoa and exist and flounder and some may make, or take, some very sharp cuts.

Manipulation, partial revelation, deep conversation, deep consequences, final straws, strokes of luck, fantastic projections, it’s all there.

Who wants to revisit a conversation?

Are there places in your life where you are negotiating a relationship?

Our Full Moon in Pisces conjunct Neptune, across from the Sun conjunct Mars pits our will against our emotions.

Or maybe it marries them? It makes them fight?

What happens is sort of an everything.
There is not only a single outcome, tho there may also be one, or more than one.

In the final stanza of Wallace Stevens’ The poems of our climate, he says:

-The imperfect is our paradise.
Note that, in this bitterness, delight,
since the imperfect is so hot in us,
lies in flawed words and stubborn sounds.-

What happens now is that the Full Moon moves the plot.
Or I should say, the actions we take, the experiences we have, move the plot. Even if, and this may be true, even if, some of the movement can’t be seen by us all.

Invisible forces rule everything. I could explain that, but you are much too smart. I mean, do they not?

I’ve got a Rumi poem, I don’t usually do him, but I will now, translated by E.H. Whinfield:

Love is reckless; not reason.
Reason seeks a profit.
Love comes on strong, consuming herself, unabashed.
Yet, in the midst of suffering,
Love proceeds like a millstone,
hard surfaced and straightforward.
Having died of self-interest,
she risks everything and asks for nothing.
Love gambles away every gift God bestows.
Without cause God gave us Being;
without cause,
give it back again.

A question may come up of who was hurt, who is at fault, who or what should be held tight, and what must be let go.

Stephan Levine wrote: ( and I want to read this to you not because your heart will break, but because we can’t do Virgo and Pisces without healing and Mercy)

He writes:
— There comes a point where it is more important to just let our heart break and get on with it than to keep trying to figure out why we are so often in pain or who’s at fault and what sort of punishment they deserve.

It takes a lot of work to get healed, to merge the heart and the disheartened. But even in the least observation, it becomes clear that no one needs any excuse for being in so much pain. Wherever there is expectation or broken hope, disappointment or loss, there is the stuff of Shakespearean malady.

Healing is entering, with mercy and awareness, into those areas of ourselves we have withdrawn from with fear and a sense of helplessness. Healing is reoccupying those parts of ourselves that we abandoned because of mental or physical pain. Healing is replacing our merciless reactions with a merciful response.

Without mercy, we don’t have a chance.

And that chance is the breadth of heart that is our birthright.–

We can think of this Full Moon as a bit of preamble to topics we will see over Mercury’s retrograde in Libra, which begins on September 26, and lasts until October 19th!

For in October, while in our Mercury retrograde we finally arrive at the moments when Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto go direct! The shoes you have been waiting on, they will drop! These places you have been left hanging, the phone call that consistently goes into the void… someone will pick up. A story resumes. BELIEVE ME: Wild times.

By October 19, you will know the answers to questions that you really don’t know now, or should I say, to be fair, you will begin living questions you don’t currently have access to.
To go all the way over there… to be ready, we do this.

– The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory. – That’s what Howard Zinn says.

I think of Barbara Brown Taylor saying:
-Darkness is not something you go through. It is God’s home.-

I’ll say that one more time, because there are a lot of ideas packed in there.

-Darkness is not something you go through. It is God’s home.-

Let’s take a moment to breathe together. I’m so glad you have arrived here, here where everything is always in motion. There are no meaningful separations between your molecules and the molecules that surround you. We are all of us, alive and in motion breathing together. I’m so glad you are alive and breathing, here with us.

Love YOU!!!

XoX

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New Moon in Virgo, September 6, 2021


*

Let’s kick this off with a quote by R. D. Lang

-There are good reasons for being obedient, but being unable to be disobedient is not one of the best reasons.-

The name of this moon is Exact Change. That’s only sort of a pun.
Retrograde Uranus at 14 degrees juuust about drop kicks the Sun/Moon conjunction at 14 degrees.

This lunation is going to yeet you into another reality.
In a good way. In the best possible way.

Here is the thing: Virgo is the Magician.

Pat O’Shea writes
There’s always a lot of magic, but our way of seeing it is very small and we mostly just call it Nature. Why, we are not at all surprised that we can pick up an apple in autumn that was a pink flower in the spring. That’s natural magic and we don’t really notice it.”

Magic. Ruled by Mercury, The Magician takes what is conceptual and turns it into a physical manifestation. A rabbit out of a hat, the very idea of surprise, naturally, flowers up your sleeve…

You choose and you Virgo it into being. An idea about reality becomes your actual life. This moon is going to show you how to choose. This moon is going to show you where you have already chosen.

This moon tips your cards and shows your hand.
Watch what happens in the two weeks after this.

Let’s read an excerpt from Genesis by – Mary Ruefle

Oh, I said, this is going to be.
And it was.
Oh, I said, this will never happen.
But it did.

Virgo is the translator: translucent becomes opaque, presto changeo, matter is born. Whatever is unnecessary is discarded, yes, there are details, but only ones you need. Clarity… discernment, practical, sincere, uncluttered, clear.

The North Node, Saturn, and Mercury make a triangle, echoing an idea Venus had earlier. That looks like a promise, an agreement.

A chance that has somehow become fate.

Pablo Neruda has a wonderful poem about birth.
Conception, and then birth I think, is the ultimate example of a chance somehow becoming fate. A combination of Heat and Will becomes life, your life, someone’s life.
He writes:

It’s well known that we were all born.

But if that abrupt translation
from not being to existing, to having hands,
to seeing, to having eyes,
to eating and weeping and overflowing
and loving and loving and suffering and suffering,
of that transition, that quivering
of an electric presence, raising up
one body more, like a living cup,
and of that woman left empty,
the mother who is left there in her blood
and her lacerated fullness,
and its end and its beginning, and disorder
tumbling the pulse, the floor, the covers
till everything comes together and adds
one knot more to the thread of life,
nothing, nothing remains in your memory
of the savage sea which summoned up a wave
and plucked a shrouded apple from the tree.

The only thing you remember is your life.

A closed door opens.
We are born into this next season, the one called Fall, and it comes with a gift.

It’s not casual, in fact I would argue that it’s one of the strongest New Moons of the year. The aspects for our Virgo restart are very precise, very deep, and very strong.

I would say it’s gorgeous, and it is, but it also reminds me of someone saying “It’s not for nothing” in a thick New York accent. This New Moon is not for nothing.

Set your intentions, make your wishes.
How will you serve in whatever role you take?
What would you like to give?
It’s not about you, or not only, not exactly

Mars trines PLUTO
Venus trines Jupiter
Venus Squares Pluto

There is a LOT of power here. A LOT
Open secrets, everything used to a benefit.

Uranus in this case ruled by Venus, trines the Sun Moon conjunction.
It’s a push.
Jupiter approves and Pluto adds intrigue.
It’s a push with a blessing and consequences.

Good comes from this moment: results, whether pleasurable or not, will be beneficial and long lasting.

This will open some doors that you don’t really shut ever again.

Mercury trines Saturn and opposes Chiron, what you know is real: birth contains pain.

Let’s welcome the beautifully imperfect and wonderously made future, which is actually now, actually the present. This moment where we breathe in and the air becomes our body, and we breathe in again and feel now how alive we are, alive in a living world, full of endless energy and motion, inseparable from the limitless power of creation.

I’m so glad you are alive and breathing here with us.

Love YOU!!!!

XoX

* This episode contains accidental bonus material!

p.s.

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Aquarius Full Moon August 22, 2021 (the second one!)

At the last moment of LEO, at 29 degrees LEO, where we are now, let’s imagine within you, a fragment of Sun, an endless renewable resource, a flame. And like our solar Sun, you will burn all the while, the whole time you exist, and that whole time will be an eternity…

Let’s connect to this idea that your consciousness is omnipresent, moving as a flame does, continuously vital and alive.

On cloudy days, maybe you can’t even see you, you can’t find yourself, but there you are, burning off the haze, keeping yourself warm, soft and bright.

It’s a moment where you might understand your own needs, and you might accept yourself without apology. Having weighed your feelings and your commitments, you do what’s next, naturally.

There may be a note of intuition, (good, helpful) or of facts versus the spin that could be placed on them, (less good, less helpful) the gloss that covers over, or the ways we choose not to see.

I read a poem by Keith S. Wilson and I can’t stop hearing it. It’s called

Black Matters
after D.H. Lawrence

shall i tell you, then, that we exist?
there came a light, blue and white careening.
the police like wailing angels
to bitter me.

and so this:
dark matter is hypothetical. know
that it cannot be seen

in the gunpowder of a flower,
in a worm that raisins on the concrete,
in a man that wills himself not to speak.

gags, oh gags.
for a shadow cannot breathe.
it deprives them of nothing. pride

is born in the black and then dies in it.
i hear our shadow, low treble
of the clasping of our hands.

dark matter is invisible.
we infer it: how light bends around a black body,
and still you do not see black halos, even here,

my having told you plainly where they are.

Don’t confuse yourself, and don’t let anyone confuse you. Love here looks like integrity, like equilibrium, like betting on yourself to grow, to win.

You don’t have to reach for this one. It’s right here. The future has arrived once again, as ever, it’s fresh.

Ideas about symmetry and fairness come into it, ideas about innovation and relationship, autonomy, and perhaps even something to the tune of destiny… You may not keep your balance, but for a moment, you have it. It just happens.

Saturn trines Venus and the North Node very tightly, 7, 7, and 8 degrees, all Aquarius, Libra, Gemini.

The emphasis is on innovation, a Moon/Jupiter breakthru/break free sort of a conduit or connector, a link between where you are and where you are going.

Put it on the scales. You may take a chance on yourself, and if you do, you should.

An element of Justice may be at play, or a surprise of some kind. Words may be sharp, and could even cut you, but they will not be deliberately cruel.

– We know perfectly well from the moment that we know anything about mortal existence, that it is mortal, in the sense that there’s no hope—you’re going to die. And yet, we go on, our hope is involved in what happens every day as we wake up and go through it and meet friends and talk and read poems and see the light come and go. Our hope is not a thing in the future; it’s a way of seeing the present.-
W.S. Merwin wrote that.

I read a bumper sticker on someone’s witchy car the other day and it said “ BUT DID YOU DIE?!” and I had to laugh, all the way down deep, because someday I will, and today I did not.

Allow that you can be renewed for what counts as this forever.

Let it be a moment where you can understand yourself, and act kindly in your own best interest. This lunation carries the idea that since you are going to have a future, it should be one that suits.

— Oliver Burkeman writes
— When stumped by a life choice, choose “enlargement” over happiness. I’m indebted to the Jungian therapist James Hollis for the insight that major personal decisions should be made not by asking, “Will this make me happy?”, but “Will this choice enlarge me or diminish me?”

And that’s the jam. As ever, we work toward liberation in all senses.
Growing toward what brings us to life.

The places we find wonder and possibility, become our revolution, choosing to
expand, to trust, never never shoehorning ourselves into a situation as if we were
not in motion.

Building, as in nature, a nest, a beehive, a migration pattern, a chrysalis, a den, a hermit crab shell that is the right size for who you are becoming, always choosing a scenario that gives you room to grow.

You ARE growing, and it’s beautiful to see. It should be wonderfully, terrifyingly, brilliantly clear that there is no other way.

As you breathe in now, air enters your body and becomes your body. You are very much alive. Every cell and particle of you is in motion. There are no separations between the molecules that surround you and the molecules that ARE you. I’m so glad you are alive and breathing here with us.

Love YOU!!!!

XoX

p.s.

p.p.s.


Bei Dao, Leo Poet Poster Boy sez:

WE

scared out of our wits
carry lanterns chasing spring

scars gleam, cups rotate
rays of light are created
watch for that moment of bewitchery
a thief steals into the post office
letters send out shrieks

nails, oh nails
the words of this song will not be changed
firewood huddled closely
searching for an audience

searching for the heart of winter
the end of the stream
the boatman waits for all-penetrating dusk

someone has to rewrite love

*translation by Clayton Eshleman and Lucas Klein

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New Moon in Leo, August 8, 2021

Let’s consider something Andreas Weber wrote for The Biology of Wonder

— The plant that directs its growth tendency to the light does not understand the arithmetic of wavelengths; it simply perceives light as good in the form of a positive affection. […] Today’s botanists have used ingenious experiments to confirm the subjectivity of plants. [They] observed that identical plant clones — multiple vegetative twins whose DNA sequences are identical to the letter — behave differently, even though room temperature and substrate moisture are the same. They are clones, but their bodies unfold into individual shapes. They individually choose between different options […]. Every sprout has its own preferences. Each is an individual, not simply an automaton carrying out a genetic blueprint. […].

Intelligence, according to the meaning of the Latin verb intelligere, means to be in between, to be able to choose. It signifies the ability to make a decision, and hence the judgment of a distinct self for whom a choice means something — survival, growth, flourishing. In this sense intelligence and life are one and the same thing. —

Something wants to be born.

What was fertilized between July 9 & July 13th is activated.

Leo is the center of the thing, and also the creator.
As if a flower gave birth to itself, which it does through its seeds all the time.

If you want to feel rewarded by August 22, you have to act now. Act NOW!
How does that sound? Like a salesman, or as if I am trying to convince you? Here’s the trick of it, I won’t have to.

– Imagination
creates the situation,
and, then, the situation
creates imagination.

It may, of course,
be the other way around:
Columbus was discovered
by what he found. –

James Baldwin wrote that

Things I can tell you about the New Moon in Leo on August 8th:
It’s important.
It’s rich,
and oddly practical or may pit a dream against reality; they’ll have to synergize one way or another.

We are the generator and the creation. The Parent and the Child. The Artist and the Critic. We are our own best/worst audience, our continual champion, our most loyal and unforgiving friend… what beautiful unprecedented radiance are we making of ourselves now?

Mercury joins the Sun/Moon conjunction, suggesting that there is something you know, you really do know it, and with Mars and Venus in Virgo, as much as you would like to wait for the perfect moment that never arrives, you will find yourself moving forward. Opening to a change that takes its roots in dreams and desire.

Don’t worry, you’ll find a way to work the logistics…perhaps you already have…

For now, you do what you want.

It will be right. If you look inward, you will find it has been there a long while, waiting to be recognized, like a song you hear on the radio, that you find yourself humming later in the day…

W.S. Merwin writes:

« Watching the first sunlight
touch the tops of the palms
what could I ask […]

I dream I am here
in the morning
and the dream is its own time […]

There I am
morning clouds
in the east wind

No one is in the garden
the autumn daisies
have the day to themselves […]

I needed my mistakes
in their own order
to get me here […]

I call that singing bird my friend
though I know nothing else about him
and he does not know I exist […]

In my youth I believed in somewhere else
I put faith in travel
now I am becoming my own tree. »

Here is another one, by Alice Walker
– Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger, spiritually, than we were before. Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it, as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of the earth as it seeks to break out of its shell on its way to becoming a plant. Often the feeling is anything but pleasant. But what is most unpleasant is the not knowing what is happening. Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.-

However it happens, we experience a magic trick, our long foggy summer has led somewhere after all..

In the northern hemisphere, every July and August, little birds take flight. How would you describe that moment?

Haven’t they been growing all along? From the dark of the shell to that wet embodiment of pure need and hunger, mostly beak, one way or another they have gotten fed. And here they are, ready for what is both unimaginable and inevitable.

I have another piece of a James Baldwin poem, this one entitled:

-Munich, Winter 1973 (for Y.S.)-

… Just as the birds above our heads
circling
are singing,
knowing
that, in what lies before them,
the always unknown passage,
wind, water, air,
the failing light
the failing night
the blinding sun
they must get the journey done.
Listen.
They have wings and voices
are making choices
are using what they have.
They are aware
that, on long journeys,
each bears the other,
whirring,
stirring
love occurring
in the middle of the terrifying air.

A couple of weeks ago we had accidents and experiments… how did you respond, which wires were tripped, and where did they take you?

Our liberation is not complete, but something grows in the heart of it. Some kind of love that satisfies.

It could be artistic, or romantic, playful, or even healing. What is certain is that our New Moon is good, in the exact way of the warmest life-giving sunshine, available even on a cloudy day, (we are here, aren’t we?) It’s generative, and real.

As we breathe now, let’s breathe into the infinite mystery and limitless power of creation. All of our infinite vibrations are inseparable from the vibrations surrounding us, so entwined. I’m happy you are alive and breathing here with us.

Love YOU!!!

XoX

p.s.

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Full Moon In Aquarius July 23, 2021

Painting by Randy Conner


It’s emo in a detached way. It’s dramatic and a little sexy. There is an appetite to it, a relationship to desire.
It matters what tho, it’s not an anything goes moment, but rather a time where specific chances might be taken, or some long withheld words might finally make an appearance. It could be a good night to have some fun.

It’s the first of two Aquarius Full Moons in a row, this is one at 1 degree Aquarius and the next at 29.

The suggestion here is that a culmination resulting in a new state of affairs either takes two tries, or that the change we are seeking is so large, so encompassing that one revolution will not do. Both moons are essentially “good” … whatever that means. The benevolent outweighs the trauma, or in this case the change.

Both Aquarius full moons describe an unexpected result, or potentially some wish fulfillment. A newborn surprise.

The rulers of Aquarius spend this year at war, or at least in conflict. Saturn squares Uranus, you hear that again and again, so what does it mean?

Both signs rule Aquarius.

We seem to be talking about how to arrive at the structure of the NEW. Both as a society and as individuals. The societal questions follow longer arcs, but on a personal level we can say that where you find Saturn square Uranus in your chart, you describe a conflict. A new way to handle some specifics is trying to be born.

It could be a conflict between who you are, and what you do for a living, or between your primary relationship and your day to day responsibilities, or between what you owe and your freedom

or between your fear and letting your voice be heard… there are many combinations, but perhaps you are beginning to get a sense…

What we are up to is creating a channel: a new “way” for it to be. And when I say IT, I mean YOU.

We can’t do this without accidents and experiments. This is real, so real. I’m going to stop and say it again.

We can’t do this without accidents and experiments, hunches and risks, not all of them yours, but all of them yours to grow through.

What we know about accidents and experiments is they expose our soft underbellies, our weakness, they do this, by exposing our habits.

When we respond to a surprise, we often do so from our current set of habitual skills.

It is time to get in peak condition for change.

One thing that we talked about last time was accepting our actual priorities. When you know what you really care about, you are far, far ahead of the game.

And yet, and this is a big AND YET Aquarius demands that we leave room for the irrational, and that we accept loss. The loss we accept is, as of yet, unquantifiable.

We don’t get to know how much or even how completely we are losing in the places we let go. Is that tough to swallow?
Well yes. Yes it is.

We can’t do without this bit, and the why of it we won’t know until later.
Accept the risk.

Neither Leo nor Aquarius wants to be ordinary, and in truth, neither wants to change. They both work with a relationship to a fixed or rigid point, to which they apply or suffer a spark!

As both scientists and performers know, there is a moment where things have suddenly gotten out of hand, and by this I mean, they have come alive.

Unpredictability is the gift of everything that grows. Where there is growth there is mutation, divergence, alteration, uncertainty. Uncertainty predates what is often called progress, and which easily describes the unsteady joy, the movement toward revelation that forces a risk.

What is most striking about anything we perceive as irrational or outside the norm, is that it’s another way of describing our humanity. It’s how, it’s why we are not machines.

Leo is the star and Aquarius the visionary, the outcast, the iconoclast.

Our full Moon on July 23 is a happenstance that is a gift, and it echoes and brings to life the themes of your Saturn Uranus Square.

So do this: Include your joy. It’s not supposed to be a life that is remade with you as an afterthought, and these next few moons will encourage you to put your whole self in.

One of the questions we are tasked with, or the struggle we can’t seem to shake is how can we begin an entirely new life without disrespecting or dismantling what has come before?

Is there a way to preserve the value, the tradition, the essentially needed and at least partially wholesome structure of what we have learned to use as our framework, while acknowledging that none of us can grow if it continues?

I mean, is there?

Acknowledging that the current structure is essentially outdated and/or placibolic as it stands, that the current formation of the structure of our lives does not allow for the individuation that is already happening, that is fundamentally unstoppable, we can only allow then, that a new structure is needed, and it grows here already without the complete abandonment of the old.

It happens because it’s happening.

2021 and 2022 are bridges. Saturn squares Uranus, it does not trine, it does not oppose. This suggests that a continual friction is needed. We will do all of it. We will do some of it. We will mix and match. This year and the next we work toward our changes. We bend for them, fight for them, speak plainly and do not falter if we are misunderstood. ..

The full moons of July 23 and August 22 show us a vision of the future. Or perhaps they bring us that much further in. We must include this, they seem to say. We won’t get there without JOY, and we won’t get there without POWER.

Like David Mamet said once upon a time before he became a Trump supporter : Things Change.

Listen to this wonderful Q and A with the frequently misrepresented Toni Morrison.

Q: How do you survive whole in a world where we’re all victims of something?“

Ms. Morrison: Ummm, how do you survive whole–I can’t do this quickly, for one–how can you survive whole and when we’re victims of something, um. You know that’s a nice fat, eastern/western philosophical question about ‘how do you get through’?

Sometimes you don’t survive whole, you just survive in part. But the grandeur of life is that attempt, it’s not about that solution.

It is about being as fearless as one can, behaving as beautifully as one can, under completely impossible circumstances. It’s that, that makes it elegant. Good is more interesting. More complex, more demanding.

Evil is silly. It may be horrible but at the same time it’s not a compelling idea: it’s predictable, it needs a tuxedo, it needs blood, it needs fingernails, it’s all that costume, in order to get anybody’s attention.

But the opposite, which is survival, blossoming, endurance, those things are just more compelling intellectually, if not spiritually and they certainly are spiritually. This is a more fascinating job.

We are already born. We are going to die. So you have to do something interesting that you respect in between.–

Jim Harrison writes – Beware, O wanderer, the road is walking too.-

And that’s a wonderful way to envision this next bit of time, we are putting ourselves in motion, in a world quite literally in motion. There is no retreat now… it’s a beautiful experiment or at least one that arrives with a gift.


More and more we can allow ourselves to be enlarged by our circumstances. In our expansiveness, we can experience some freedom.

To breathe freely, go ahead and invite the new into your life. Aquarius is air, fresh air, fresh dreams, a new vision of what is possible.

Let’s take a breath together, all of us in motion, all of us inseparable from each other, inseparable from the limitless power of creation itself. I’m so glad you are alive and breathing here with us.

XoX

Love YOU!!!

p.s.

p.p.s

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Crab New Moon July 9, 2021

Who we are at midnight when there is no one around to see, the lowest part of the chart and the most internal. It’s a restart. A rebirth from the inside out. There is some energy to it and some pride. It’s a creative vulnerability moon.
Pressure? Yes.

Confusion? Less and less.

There are only so many things that feel right to do, and by July 12, you will be doing some of them.

It’s a good time to say YES to reality. No need to argue with what is, but you may need to do something else with it, to play with reality, to connect to it, to move ahead, make a choice, or go beyond.

The thing of it is, you can now.

It’s a moment of potency and creative fertilization. There is nothing to prove, that part is over. What comes next is a very clear expression of potency. We are extraordinarily capable at the moment. You do need courage, but by now you have it. YES YOU DO HAVE IT.

To open big doors, you need big levers and these are big levers: Talent: we have, Power: we have, Ingenuity, we have, straight back, face forward, looking proudly ahead. With Venus and Mars coming together in Crab’s solar 2nd, our talents & desires match our actions and abilities. Leo is GOLD.

Use the beautiful darkness of the New Moon to show you to yourself. Uncovered. Naked, Lovely.

Let you show yourself what is important now, then use the light of Venus and Mars to show how you will enact it, to show you what comes next.

So that all sounds pretty easy, what’s the trick of it? The trick is this:

Our values are changing and it’s uncomfortable, for everyone.

I don’t mean in a liberal/conservative way, but rather our personal values, the ones we never see and rarely describe, the lights with which we look at our decisions, the unexamined yardsticks we take out when we are about to change.

What I mean is, the values that rule our individual day to day choices are being reexamined individually by us. What is it worth to you, right now, type of values.

What is it worth, your independence, your interdependence, your trustworthiness, your artistic freedom, your accomplishment, your financial freedom, your family, your heart’s desires. What will you give up to have it? Which mountains will you move? What can be discarded, and what must not be let go?

What is it worth?

Your values are changing, and most likely they have not finished changing, what they are now, is half fully formed butterfly, half absolute caterpillar goo.

Our New Moon initiates a lesson on growing while doing. You will find out what you care about by putting yourself in new situations. The measurements will be made in real time… you are coming very close.

We are ⅔ thru our Summer Situation, and we move out of the theoretical trials and into the applied experiments. There is no other way.

James Baldwin writes:

– Identity would seem to be the garment with which one covers the nakedness of the self: in which case, it is best that the garment be loose, a little like the robes of the desert, through which one’s nakedness can always be felt, and, sometimes, discerned. This trust in one’s nakedness is all that gives one the power to change one’s robes.-

If you have to follow certain rules, rewrite certain rules, realize you may not understand certain rules, then you will also have to take that as it comes and respond to your challenges in real time.

You have had time to think, and you have had frustration, deliberation, and revision, perhaps now you can arrive at something in the vein of self abundance, a feeling of your own validity.

Leo is a potent creator and what comes of our extended Venus/Mars conjunction is more than pleasure or satisfaction, it is play, creation, creativity, vitality, and birth. Something can be born, and made, and bent, and shaped, a creation: brand new.

As I say that, I’m aware that some things will be abandoned now, not all (or who) that has been valuable to us will make it into the future.

That’s as it should be. Something new is born in us, and we can’t hang on and let go with both hands, and what we do now, trapeze style, we do completely, with both hands.

We welcome what arrives. Confidant. A test is passed, and if we don’t have everything, perhaps we don’t need everything.

This is a newborn Moses in a basket, who magically grows in the course of a single summer to lead us into our promised land. Moses who parts the sea, drowns our enemies and takes us to the place we have been so longing to go… or something like that.

To be fair it’s more of a complicated dance this year and even those rejections made now, may feature some revisioning in the future, when our outer planets move ahead, and in our venus retrograde to come, but in this moment and for this time, and with what we understand now, this is clarity. Move with it. You need it.

The key to the energetic is to stay with yourself, your glorious self, your golden and shining Leonic self.

And what if you only have the ordinary self? The pockmarked and pitted, the wounded and damaged self, the stubborn and idiosyncratic self, the shy and private self, that self, that same old workaday self?

Cheryl Strayed says:

– A foundational truth I return to in the course of giving advice is that there will always be a price to pay if you fake the core. If you do not allow the truest things you know about yourself to guide your life, you will be miserable. You’ll be sad and numb and confused and resentful and endlessly paddling your canoe down the wrong river, all because you took a left upstream when you knew you wanted to take a right and here you are, almost sunk, because you didn’t—or couldn’t—trust your clarity.-

You have to bring the self you have, that damaged self IS the golden one, none other.

There is a great piece by Stephen R. Schwartz called The Prayer Of The Body II published in an issue of Sun magazine. It’s much too long for this podcast, but, I’ll put a good bit of the excerpts here:

Feelings are not ideas, but subtle physical experiences. They take place in the body. They are not inherently meaningful in the way they seem to be when we apply our thoughts and beliefs to them. Feelings are part of the rhythm, the giving and receiving, the nourishment, and the interdependent ecology of our experience here.

We often misunderstand our feelings. We think that some of them are weak and some strong, some are good and some bad, some right and some wrong. Such a relationship to our feelings represents an overlay of arrhythmic thought onto the intimate rhythms of our bodily experience.

When we allow ourselves to turn toward our feelings at the bodily level, we can discover a core of warm nourishment there. Even in our anger, our guilt, our confusion, our loneliness, even in the depths of despair, we can find something that we truly want — a sustaining force which we can receive and then give in return.

Feelings can be recognized as a movement of energy on a subtle level. Like breathing, the beating of the heart, and the movement of blood in the veins, feelings are not owned by us. They are part of the stream which sustains and uplifts this mysterious human form.

… They are like tones that resonate from subtle regions of the human form. These feeling tones have become disrupted by the ways we have been taught to fight against them, deny them, dishonor them, and obstruct them…

… We return our consciousness to the rhythms of the body and allow ourselves to breathe. When we turn our attention to the heart and locate our conscious identity there, we begin to understand and feel gratitude for the very interdependence that we so often try to reject. Everything is given to us. Our purpose is to receive, transform, and give back…

Every human body has unique qualities. Each of us takes in, transforms, and gives back energy in a distinct way. Each of us is a particular individualized pulsation of life current, a resonating tone, and not merely a series of memories, beliefs, and ideas. We each bear a unique way of expressing the energies we receive.

Cancer rules the breasts that nourish the baby, the impulse to give, to foster new life, Leo rules the heart and the back, the center of our body that holds us straight.

When we are very sincere in our words or our creations, we say “It came from the heart.” Mercury is still in Gemini ruling the lungs and the hands, and giving us all we need to understand what we experience now.

Let’s breathe together, and now let’s do it again. There is no separation between the air that enters your body, and your body itself. We are infinitely entwined, inseparable from each other, indivisible from the limitless power of creation. I’m so glad you are alive, I’m so glad you are alive and breathing, here with us.


Love YOU!!!

XoX

p.s.

Bobby Womack is a Pisces Sun, Cancer Moon.

p.p.s.

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Capricorn Full Moon, June 24th, 2021

The full moon in Capricorn takes place at 3 degrees across from the fresh into Crab Sun.

Capricorn is a bit of a know it all, and that’s a lovely change for everyone. Could we know something? Is there finally a pin to tack a corner of our reality down? Is it at last, a time for a type of sure thing?

That may be supposing too much, and Mercury won’t really be all that until July 7th when he finally clears the square to Neptune, but we can move on now.

When we arrive at June 24th 2021, we may be able to push through to whatever change, whatever finality has been building: we have it, we make it, we are it.

Our yeses and nos are metered out, we can say them now, if we haven’t already, and if we have already said them, we can live them.

Jupiter says YES. Pluto makes it real with Venus, Mars looks to Mercury & ahead to Saturn. Mars has already measured 3 times and carefully now, he makes the cut to build the future, perhaps by way of a conversation.

It’s a passionate moon, and even a healing one. That said, we are not free, we are caught, pinned even. Commitment, certainty, a change and a choice that looks ahead… there is a thread here that transforms, it’s about becoming.

If you have been waiting for something to prove out, or waiting to see…whatever it is you need or have needed for your clarity, you should be able to see it now. An opening in the ordinary fabric of ordinary life.

Jupiter and Saturn both retrograde tell us that the terms may need adjustment over time, but no matter, a bargain is struck. A family, an organization, an obligation, even a love affair, a connection, or a position we no longer struggle to articulate.

A mercurial door is open, and cautious as you are, freedom is found in the exchange. Genuine emotions.

Bob Hicok has a poem called:

-A full-service organization-

it goes like this:

-A full-service organization-

I robbed a bank. Didn’t mean to.
I’d deposited a check when the woman asked,
Is there anything else? She had a great smile.
It reminded me of a waxing moon.
I didn’t want her to be a moon in vain,
so I said, I’ll take all the money in your drawer.
She said, Of course. Then she said a funny thing.
Her head was down, she was looking at a stack of bills
in her hand, when she said, How would you like that?
Meaning tens or twenties. Hundreds or quarters.
And as soon as she said this, she stopped,
dropped her hands, smiled, looked at me,
shook her head and said, Duh. And something
opened between us. A sense of life
as renewable and surprising,
full of little errors that make us notice
we need and can give help. There’s only one way
to want everything, she knew that
and was admitting her mistake. So I pointed out to her
that I didn’t have a gun. She pointed out to me
that money is a knife we plunge into each other
over and over for no good reason.
If I’d have had a cord of wood
or even a few logs, I’d have built a fire
right there and talked to her
well into the night, but there was no tree
in sight. At the end, having handed me the money,
once more she asked, Is there anything else?
Yes, I said. I’d like to deposit this.
Checking or savings, she asked.
Given how far we’d come together, I admitted
I’ve never known how to answer that question,
if it’s better to live for the moment
or look forward to a better time.
That’s why I’m here, she said,
taking out a pencil and paper and dividing
the paper into two columns, one labeled
The Sky Is Falling, the other, So Am I.

I was thinking….
a gathering of Capricorns could be called “an Obligation” an obligation of Capricorns, what do you think?
A certainty, a commitment, a hesitation… I don’t know, something about grandparents maybe, or how about this: A Responsibility of Capricorns. Yes, that’s it.

And yet, isn’t it one of the best sorts of freedom: when you know you are doing the right thing?
Such a sweet and serious sensation: everything has been put on the scale, and the mystery we have weighed over and over turns out to be a marriage of depth and opportunity. If you have an opportunity, and you want it, take it. It will be real, and that reality will be valuable. Guaranteed.

Let’s take a breath together now. Let’s be here, where we really are, in motion together without meaningful separations of any kind, all entwined. I’m so glad you are alive and breathing here with us.


Love YOU!!!

XoX

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New Moon Eclipse in Gemini June 10, 2021

Please please please stop everything and go check out painter Khari Turner.

New Moon Eclipse in Gemini June 10, 2021

What kind of beginning is it? Conflicted. Magical. A Return.
Painful, Beautiful, Potent and Strong.

Gemini wants to know.

Isn’t that the main thing with Gemini? To find out… to turn over the other side of the coin, take a look at the flipside?

In Gemini we play, we compose, and importantly we explore. Can we not leave every question unasked? Is that it?

Can we move ahead without looking behind, oh I don’t think so! Not today, not this time. We want to try it… whatever it is, and we won’t, we can’t go on without learning more.

Do you remember when our year of the Metal Ox began in February, and we had both a Mercury retrograde and a New Moon in the Air sign of Aquarius?

Here we are again almost as if astrology were a spiral?!

This October, October 6, 2021, we will have another Air sign New Moon, in, you guessed it, Libra! Where the Sun, Moon, Mars and a retrograde Mercury, (in tight aspect to Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Chiron and Uranus), join forces to tell us we are moving ahead, definitively, in ways both painful, hopeful, & UNSURE.

All year we look backward, sideways, and work with what we imagine might become possible. It’s messy, and I can only suppose we need it messy.

What do you think? It’s quite a year!

What I said in February was the following:

– We are cultivating more powerful problems. A surprise is guaranteed. There is a kiss, and a dream, or a lie, a chance to go back and fix an old storyline. This is where we begin to correct our mistakes, which as you know, sometimes involves making more of them.

The future is shaping itself strangely, into absolutely fresh configurations, and as it happens, as you move ahead with plans and choices, your beginnings may emerge under blurry impressions, almost a shadow or storm that could be described as an inadequate or misleading series of truths, and yet, and yet, and yet… there are truths, these are truths here, aren’t they? This time can be used almost as though fixing a dropped stitch in the fabric of creation.

So now for our Gemini Eclipse, will the same themes appear? It depends on what you have done already, but you could say so!

Cultivating more powerful problems,
(you’ll hear that from me again)

What could it mean?
Something, some series of experiences that attempt to tie our experience of reality to our understanding of it.

Zbigniew Herbert writes:

I would like to describe the simplest emotion
joy or sadness
but not as others do
reaching for shafts of rain or sun

I would like to describe a light
which is being born in me
but I know it does not resemble
any star
for it is not so bright
not so pure
and is uncertain

I would like to describe courage
without dragging behind me a dusty lion
and also anxiety
without shaking a glass full of water

to put it another way
I would give all metaphors
in return for one word
drawn out of my breast like a rib
for one word
contained within the boundaries
of my skin

but apparently this is not possible

and just to say — I love
I run around like mad
picking up handfuls of birds
and my tenderness
which after all is not made of water
asks the water for a face

and anger
different from fire
borrows from it
a loquacious tongue

so is blurred
so is blurred
in me
what white-haired gentleman
separated once and for all
and said
this is the subject
this is the object

we fall asleep
with one hand under our head
and with the other in a mound of planets

our feet abandon us
and taste the earth
with their tiny roots
which next morning
we tear out painfully

So entwined. Another big beginning.

Our Messenger journeys back to 16 degrees, where once upon a time, on May 22, an idea about balance, about structure, about memory took shape.

It seems we need another look there, what has changed? What is it we want to make sure to say? To know… to understand? Is there something that was left out of the equation? A connection? We include it now, and in the days to come. A rescue mission, or an exploratory venture.

A New Moon at 19 Gemini, with Mercury retrograde at 20, a multifaceted beginning, an Eclipse.

Amass the elements… any shiny detail may be of use at any point… a fragment, or a simple choice, an emotional impulse turns now to be a key, unlocking the doors, illuminating the structure of our puzzles and therefore a doorway itself?

A key which is a door? Does that sound like a young adult fantasy novel? That’s where we are with Gemini; eternal teenagers opening magic doors, by way of a beginning with something we remember… a feeling.

Jupiter in Pisces believes not only in the impossible, but the imperfectly true, the wish… the wondering… it’s the part of the story where we wander down the hallway we’ve been told to forget, and open the door with a somewhat hidden lock… Longing could be part of it… or uncovering what we realize was discarded too soon… our emotions are a driver here… something is missing where can we find…

What will we find?

Gemini doesn’t tell us, Gemini is the question, but as I can see the answers, I’ll tell you part of it; Simple, we find a missing piece of the structure of our future. We can’t move ahead without it. Go back.

As we look, I’d like to suggest that we are looking for the story underneath the story… Or perhaps it’s the shape of the story if you were to see it from far away, from above, or… more like the story we breathe in as we close our eyes … The story our mind makes when something opens to us, a vista, or a vision, a memory. We remember.

And as we do, we dream ahead into what is possible with what we go back now to collect… I suppose the key finds the door if you keep looking Cinderella style, but it will be easier if you let it happen like taming a wild creature.

Hold out your hand with enticements on offer, but there is no panic here, no frantic search.. you open your mind to your own visions, your own intuitions, you let it come to you, and then the freeze frame is over, and a blurry commingling begins, we start somewhere… here I guess.

I’d like to read to you 4 bits of writing from the man who may be my favorite author, he’s one of the best, anyway… Roberto Bolaño. Roberto writes:

1 -That’s what art is, he said, the story of a life in all its particularity. It’s the only thing that really is particular and personal. It’s the expression and, at the same time, the fabric of the particular. And what do you mean by the fabric of the particular? I asked, supposing he would answer: Art. I was also thinking, indulgently, that we were pretty drunk already and that it was time to go home. But my friend said: What I mean is the secret story. . . . The secret story is the one we’ll never know, although we’re living it from day to day, thinking we’re alive, thinking we’ve got it all under control and the stuff we overlook doesn’t matter. But every damn thing matters! It’s just that we don’t realize. We tell ourselves that art runs on one track and life, our lives, on another, we don’t even realize that’s a lie.-

2 -You have to know how to look even if you don’t know what you’re looking for.-

3 -The world is alive and no living thing has any remedy. That is our fortune.-

&

4 -…the borders he respected were the borders of dreams, the misty borders of love and indifference, the borders of courage and fear, the golden borders of ethics.-

De La Soul has a song, Royalty Capes where poet Gina Loring intones “The sky takes notes when we speak.”

Could that be true? Could that be happening? Could we be collaborating with reality, Jupiter in Pisces style?
I think so…

I’ll leave you with Rebecca Solnit’s writing:

– Everyone is interdependent. Everyone is vulnerable. Everyone is penetrable, and everyone is penetrated incessantly by the vibrations of sound traveling into the inner ear, by the light shining in our eyes and on the surface of our bodies, by the air we must never stop breathing, by the food and water we take in, by the contacts that generate sensations that run from the surface of our skin to our brains, by the pheromones and bacteria we transmit imperceptibly to each other by air and contact, by the smells that are tiny particles we have inhaled, by the myriad species of beneficial bacteria in our gut and elsewhere that constitute so vast a portion of a human body that self is something of a misnomer or at least a crowd and maybe a party.

It’s fun to think about that, to consider being a conglomeration, a happening.

Happening now, together, inseparable from the limitless power of creation. Creating endlessly, participating worlessly, as everything happens around, and above, and throughout, and within you. I’m so glad you are listening, I’m so happy you are alive and breathing, here with us.


Love YOU!!!

XoX

p.s.

p.p.s.

The things that make us happy make us wise.
– John Crowley

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Sagittarius Full Moon Eclipse May 26th 2021


*

The incomparable Lorraine O’Grady writes:

The one advantage art has over other methods of knowledge, and the reason I engage in it rather than some other activity for which my training and intelligence might be suited, is that, except for the theoretical sciences, it is the primary discipline where an exercise of calculated risk can regularly turn up what you had not been looking for. –

I’m going to tell you a secret. Are you ready? Ok: 2021 is a more confusing year than 2020. You may have already suspected this… anyway it’s true.

The old story ends, though you may not launch the new one yet. Soon tho, actually, quite soon.

Let me tell you a story… The time between Eclipses is plastic, is malleable, contains small portals that open to large experiences and hidden dimensions that show us terrain as yet unknown… there is something here to explore. Welcome in.

Look around inside your story… this one, the story you are in… My story which I have always told to myself, unknowing. Your story, that your breath repeats as you sleep and dream…

Let’s imagine something changes now. It’s BIG.

A deviation, an alternate timeline about to intersect with yours, about to become yours.

A way to shift not exactly, or not only the plot, but something deeper. Your drives and motivations, your desires and your view of what is possible.

Neptune guides our actions, and challenges our hearts and minds. Are we sure? Well, no. No, we are not sure, and we may not be sure for a long time.

Something ends on May 26th, and just as we begin to understand that, as early as May 29th we begin to wonder if or how we ought to change our minds. Something has finished, though you can’t yet sweep it away completely, or dispose of the body. It has to do with what you believe.

And can I just tell you of the Eclipse after this one, our New Moon in Gemini on June 10th which marks out a beautiful confusion, a play which only faith can master, or take the measure of ?

I don’t know if it will endear me to you, but there isn’t a right answer, and we don’t settle our questions for a long minute, and that minute stretches out into nearly a whole summer.

Once we get our minds right near the end of June, our belief begins to waver, and so it goes until the end of July where we find ourselves back with puzzles we may have abandoned and now we are carrying ever so many more pieces to place… waves of questions this summer.

Entanglements, illusions, reunions, important connections. Real lasting changes, some actual violence and shocks that serve to sharpen your mind.

Is that right? I couldn’t tell you, not exactly or not like this anyway…

This is a time to find your own clarity from listening… from what is unfolding within yourself and all around you.

I’ll give you that astrologer jive: As Above, So Below.

As you listen, tell yourself – More than one answer, more than one level, more than one purpose. – That’s a mantra.

This summer’s pattern is more intricate than is usual. Look for the places that catch your heart like rough fabric drawn across soft skin, feel where you are being moved, and look there for the clues.

Ben Okri writes:

– In a fractured age, when cynicism is god, here is a possible heresy: we live by stories, we also live in them. One way or another we are living the stories planted in us early or along the way, or we are also living the stories we planted— knowingly or unknowingly—in ourselves. We live stories that either give our lives meaning or negate it with meaninglessness. If we change the stories we live by, quite possibly we change our lives.-

Why have we all come here, to this tangle of dreams, this intersection made of what… what would you call it? Evidence of things not seen?

2021 is almost a vision quest, or a rorschach test, it’s a pitch perfect bell that shows you none of these surrounding sounds are simple and they don’t really ring clear, it’s you finding your way in the woods or an unfamiliar city. You are going to stumble, and since you don’t know the landmarks you will have to look for something else. Close your eyes and listen. Follow what is calling you. It will be new.

I’m so glad you are here, let’s take a moment and just breathe together. I’m so glad you have arrived here, where everything is always in motion.

In every conceivable imagining you are alive in a living universe. There are no meaningful separations between your molecules and the molecules that surround you.

I’m so glad you are alive and breathing, here with us.

Love YOU!!!

XoX

p.s.

*Eugen Gabritschevsky

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A Few Words About Jupiter in Pisces and Our Saturn Retrograde:

JUPITER IN PISCES

Jupiter is already in Pisces, can you feel it? How did you cope with that first wave of emotion?

2021 and 2022 will see Jupiter in Pisces come and go 3 times. For each pass we are tasked with opening ourselves, opening ourselves to the best possible outcomes.

The times when Jupiter moves back to Aquarius, that’s when we work on the structure, The how of it, the fairness, the vision, a break from the past, an actual method for our growth.

While in Pisces, Jupiter works with connections, while in Aquarius he works with separations.

We alternate modalities to be able to bring our heart with us. We need soul and sweetness in our vision of the future. We need it to not be sterile or clinical but instead living, mysterious, deep. Let Pisces work on you. It’s why we are here now.

Jupiter in Pisces suggests that magic, a bewildering force, a force that be-wilds you it’s not out of the question… no really.

How wide is the window in your heart for inexplicable emotions? Can some of those blow in?

Where are your permissions located?
Is there a release valve?

Can you open yourself and feel both the sweetness of what is possible, and the endless wounds that have no name?

Can you allow yourself all of your feelings, even the ones you don’t like or don’t want to be seen to have, even by yourself?

Compassion, acceptance, grace, faith, generosity: don’t just ask, offer.

On the last podcast, I spoke about a nonlinear journey, we are on it. We are in it.

It is us.

It’s worth noting too, that Jupiter’s time in Pisces is brief:

May 13, 2021, to July 28, 2021,
December 28, 2021, to May 10, 2022,
&
October 28 to December 20, 2022.
That’s it!

SATURN RETROGRADE IN AQUARIUS

Saturn goes back May 22 at 13 degrees Aquarius, establishing that our debts, or obligations remain. We may not settle them now. Oddly even as Saturn retrogrades, he somehow gives a nod to the future, to balance and love, to the hope that it may be possible to find enough peace, understanding, justice: whatever you need.

Saturn implies that there will be solutions, that it’s worth your work, and your time, tho even as you do it, now through October 10th, the hold of your problem doesn’t fully release. You chip at it, That’s alright.

*

Some tension may abate, but the deeper solutions do not fully progress now… we still have repairs to make. It will be October 10th when the hands of time really start to mark out these changes for good and all. When that time comes, we will pick up our packs and begin to gain territory, put the stone on the grave, or fully feel that hammer come down.

Until then we re-cover, re-make, refine, redesign our commitments taking a journey back to whatever concerns Saturn marked out in the middle of January at 6 degrees.

PLUS, whatever reveals itself on May 22, take note. We will come back to this.

A clean break? I don’t think so.

And yet, we are not NOW where we were! Not at all.

Jupiter and Saturn, the Gods who demarcate the expansion and contraction of our lives have some complicated dance steps for us.

Think of these months as a time where we make sure nothing is left out of our vision.

We must include deep compassion in our methodology, we must go slow enough to build a alliances that last. Don’t think about protection, think rather about building strength.

All summer peculiar elements are added to the mixture. And this mix is a rich potion, and we will all be more wealthy when and where we are all able to swallow. It’s medicine. Drink up.

Love YOU!!!

XoX

p.s.

p.p.s.

*Hayao Miyazaki

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