A New Moon Eclipse by the South Node: that’s letting go to begin anew.
What do you learn?
What sorts of adventures are we allowed?
Where does our exploration take us?
Desire is part of it, but it’s not the everything.
Sagittarius is a sign about the big picture future: the themes, the dreams, the bend and bounce of the ethics. Use this moon to envision where you would go, if you were not only free, but funded.
And by -go- I mean enact, make real for yourself.
You could almost use the word grow for -go- where would you grow? What could you explore? What feels like foreign desirable territory?
Some steps may wait until the middle of the month… but you best believe a seed has been planted, and better yet, take this moment to consciously plant it for yourself.
What would you feel it was a dream come true to learn?
What in you knows that there is something you don’t know about: very much desired. Can you open the door to learning about it?
Where haven’t you been?
That’s where you want to go now, to find a missing piece, a lost tradition, or a security you haven’t had yet, a future security that entices you to find it as an adventure. Think of the search for a pirate’s treasure: a future security you are going to find.
Ancient gems, priceless jewels, a value that begins a lineage or a forever.
When the youngest prince in the fairy-tale cannot save his kingdom, he leaves home to find something priceless, some object or a series of experiences that take him from Prince to King.
How does he do it?
He has an adventure, and along the way, he trusts those transfigured by time. The old woman, the enchanted bird, his innocence serves him.
― Rebecca Solnit writes:
-In [fairy tales], power is rarely the right tool for survival anyway. Rather the powerless thrive on alliances, often in the form of reciprocated acts of kindness – from beehives that were not raided, birds that were not killed but set free or fed, old women who were saluted with respect. Kindness sown among the meek is harvested in crisis-
It’s worth noting that our Hero is never the one with the answers, our Hero is always the one brave enough to ask the questions, and simple enough to try what seems impossibly inadequate.
His gift is his bravery. He does what he can, and his initial steps do not usually bear a clear relationship to the depth of his problem.
Should he plant some magic beans? Perhaps say a few ridiculous words, should she make in desperation, a promise she has no way to even imagine keeping, or call upon the help of those who could not possibly help her?
Should you swallow a potion with no clear result, sneak into a palace, or pick a flower from a garden where you don’t belong? Perhaps you might open a door you have been expressly forbidden to touch, or start off on a voyage in a direction given to you by a stranger… ?
I mean maybe right? You might need to do that… I mean you might…
Now we turn our imagination, our bravery, our quest, our belief in an unknowable future, we turn it toward whatever could possibly be the treasure, the foundation of our next forever… no matter how distant or daunting…
In other words, you, our Hero, begin.
…and along the way nearly anything might happen, and that’s what we need isn’t it? An arrow into the future, because we will have a future, and soon too…
Now, right now, let’s be here, where we can breathe together. Let’s take a moment now. In every conceivable imagining we are all intertwined. We are together, inseparable from the limitless power of creation. Air enters your body and becomes your body. I’m so glad you are alive and breathing here with us.
*Jimi was a Sagittarius Sun, Mercury & Venus all conjunct, Sagittarius Rising, with a Moon Jupiter conjunction in Crab. Mars in Scorpio, a Saturn Uranus conjunction in Gemini, Neptune in Libra, Pluto & the North Node in LEO
John Singer Sargent (1856–1925) Olimpio Fusco ca. 1900–1910 Charcoal Courtesy National Gallery of Art, Washington
Now that we have made it through the last few bumps of our week… Check out the incoming freshness.. And uhhhh bizzareness vibes of the Eclipse. It’s all new! It’s all ending… it’s all the longest partial lunar eclipse in 500 years.
I’ve got a little bit of a preamble this time. Let’s start with this:
“It’s because people are so perishable. That’s the thing. Because for everyone you meet there is a last moment, there will be a last moment when your hand slips from theirs, and everything ripples outwards from that, the last firmness of a hand in yours that every moment after becomes a little less firm until you look down at your own hand and try to imagine just what it felt like before their hand slipped away. And you cannot. You cannot feel them. And then you cannot quite see them, there’s blurry bits, like you’re looking through this watery haze, and you’re fighting to see, you’re fighting to hold on, but they are perishing right before your eyes, and right before your eyes they are becoming that bit more ghost.”
– Niall Williams wrote that for the
History of the Rain
I feel that way a little about some people I have known, but even more so about everywhere I’ve ever been, and I’ll tell you a secret: I feel that way about everyone I’ve ever been, and I may have been a lot of people!
Is that possible? Have you been a lot of people too?
Let’s release ourselves from all of it, release ourselves from our own legacies, from the fallout of all our antiquated ideas, desires, and opinions… goodbye goodbye… you are GONE. The past will keep track of itself for a minute. Your goal is to land where you are. OK. Now that we have done that, we can begin.
Ladies and gentlemen, ghosts and children of the state,
I am here because I could never get the hang of Time.
This hour, for example, would be like all the others
were it not for the rain falling through the roof.
I’d better not be too explicit. My night is careless
with itself, troublesome as a woman wearing no bra
in winter. I believe everything is a metaphor for sex.
Lovemaking mimics the act of departure, moonlight
drips from the leaves. You can spend your whole life
doing no more than preparing for life and thinking.
“Is this all there is?” Thus, I am here where poets come
to drink a dark strong poison with tiny shards of ice,
something to loosen my primate tongue and its syllables
of debris. I know all words come from preexisting words
and divide until our pronouncements develop selves.
The small dog barking at the darkness has something to say
about the way we live. I’d rather have what my daddy calls
“skrimp.” He says “discrete” and means the street
just out of sight. Not what you see, but what you perceive:
that’s poetry. Not the noise, but its rhythm; an arrangement
of derangements; I’ll eat you to live: that’s poetry.
I wish I glowed like a brown-skinned pregnant woman.
I wish I could weep the way my teacher did as he read us
Molly Bloom’s soliloquy of yes. When I kiss my wife,
sometimes I taste her caution. But let’s not talk about that.
Maybe Art’s only purpose is to preserve the Self.
Sometimes I play a game in which my primitive craft fires
upon an alien ship whose intention is the destruction
of the earth. Other times I fall in love with a word
like somberness. Or moonlight juicing naked branches.
All species have a notion of emptiness, and yet
the flowers don’t quit opening. I am carrying the whimper
you can hear when the mouth is collapsed, the wisdom
of monkeys. Ask a glass of water why it pities
the rain. Ask the lunatic yard dog why it tolerates the leash.
Brothers and sisters, when you spend your nights
out on a limb, there’s a chance you’ll fall in your sleep.
….and the way we have been sleeping out on these limbs… a feeling of not quite being where you are… that’s where we have been… not quite where we are…. and not quite touching, either ourselves or those who we do touch… the arrangements we make to tolerate, what?
I want to go ahead and describe this moon as troubled. But don’t let that scare you. Let something else scare you! No, don’t. I’m kidding. Pluto says this Eclipse is alright, Venus says this Eclipse is alright, and her voice really matters this time… there is even a bit of a romantic flavor with Venus and Mars in sextile, Venus trine Uranus exactly, and Pluto trine the Moon.
What it is, is that there is a Moon/Mars/Uranus opposition the day before the eclipse and the day before that the Moon in Aries gets a little bit ticked and along the way, that’s where we see that…. well,
Acting on impulse is a thing that some people may do… and it may or may not be you, and it may or may not seem inevitable and it may or may not be well received.
Lean in to the problem, and then lean past it so far that you let go.
You let go of trying to frame it. You let go of trying to frame everything.
Instead, talk to someone whose voice makes you feel like you are alive.
Because you are. You are alive.
The death that arrived at the end of 2019 is being metabolized even now. It’s being metabolized by us.
Grief is often a private emotion, and that’s quite real, but along with our private grief, we are experiencing collective grief which has been more or less outlawed, we are only allowed to talk about fatigue.
Fatigue is permitted because capitalism sanctions exhaustion: that’s nearly a pun. Let’s say that, according to capitalism (although you should, really should) simultaneously be thriving, exhaustion means you are working hard/doing a good job.
It’s funny to say, but at some point sorrow became illegal. I don’t remember when. So unsightly. So unproductive, nearly adolescent. I actually would make a strong case that sorrow produces A LOT. But you have to feel it first.
And one of the things we encounter so often is our unwillingness to be exactly where we are, in our physical reality and location, and our unwillingness to feel exactly how we feel. Or/And our unwillingness to accept the consequences society imposes on us for admitting the feeling… I mean who wants those?!
I think it’s quite alright to be sad for what we don’t have and for what we have never had, or who or what we may have had and lost, and in mourning that, to release it, to make room for a life that we don’t even know what it is: The unimaginable future.
Our Nodes are transitioning. By January 19th we will have the North Node in Taurus, synced up with Pluto and our South Node will be in the last bit Scorpio for those pivotal decisions … With North in Taurus we metabolize death, and use it to make life. That’s fertilizer to flowers energy. To that end, I’ll say this: Rest and Recovery is essential, but it’s not a way to live. (Does that make me a capitalist? Gosh I hope not!)
We don’t have a way to live… we are making our ways… I want to say we are making our ways through the wild wood, but we are not in those woods yet… in December and in January we will be there, finding out if we have been lost in the forest.. and if so, we will find our way… SOON… not yet.
Roberto Bolaño writes:
“In a brief moment of lucidity, I was sure that we’d all gone crazy. But then that moment of lucidity was displaced by a supersecond of superlucidity (if I can put it that way), in which I realized that this scene was the logical outcome of our ridiculous lives. It wasn’t a punishment but a new wrinkle. It gave us a glimpse of ourselves in our common humanity. It wasn’t proof of our idle guilt but a sign of our miraculous and pointless innocence. But that’s not it. That’s not it. We were still and they were in motion and the sand on the beach was moving, not because of the wind but because of what they were doing and what we were doing, which was nothing, which was watching, and all of that together was the wrinkle, the moment of superlucidity. Then, nothing.”
We will never have the imaginable future, though we may get bits and pieces. Instead, we have ourselves, and we have those we care about, needs, desires, sorrow, exhaustion, hopes, wishes, pleasure, and GENUINELY unforeseeable turns and enactments, right along with the things we saw coming from lightyears away, which, when they arrive turn out differently in ways we never could have foreseen, and those are truly the most shocking of all!
This Full Moon in Taurus is an Eclipse. That means there’s a crack in it, an open and a close.
When we get one of those we often say : Something has been Eclipsed … a person, an experience, a resource, a time: done. This Full Moon finishes out a process we began around May 10, with that very strong New Moon we had in Taurus. Something may become clear to you now. **When the Moon is this bright, it’s pretty easy to see.
Ever since May, there has been a massive emphasis on Fixed Signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius, you know who you are!)
Fixed energy does not LIKE to change… You know this! We have stood there just like a toddler learning to share… while various elements have been grabbed away from our sweaty little hands, a series of adjustments have taken shape or been narrowly avoided.
We don’t avoid them forever.
Another way to say that is that our Saturn, Jupiter, and Uranus transits have kept us shaking a tree and waiting for fruit to fall, or for a branch to snap, or both! Or we can say we have made some of the changes, but we don’t yet live the change. Baby, it’s in the works.
On November 19th we enter the eclipse zone, which between now and December 4, offers us a plastic and transitory series of experiences designed to open us up, to wake us. The purpose of the moment is to shake you loose.
Flexibility, you remember flexibility, not as a mask for uncertainty, but instead the real thing… feeling safe enough, or free enough to be curious and open to the new. Our eclipse after the one in Taurus, is in Sagittarius. Is the world safe enough for us to go with the flow, or to shoot an arrow? Or will we become more brave? Is it that our attention will be captured and we’ll make the jumps looking away, or with our eyes closed?
What happens over the next year and half is that our goals become concrete: Taurus equals a good and safe and pleasurable life, and while we firm up our goals, how we achieve them becomes flexible.
Something that does return to us in December is passion… we can talk more about that later… for now, let’s breathe together.
Let’s be here, where we really are, in motion without meaningful separations of any kind. Every bit of reality connected to every other bit, all entwined. I’m so glad you are alive and breathing here with us.
* John Singer Sargent was a Capricorn Sun/Mercury (Saturn in Gemini), Pisces Moon/Jupiter/Neptune, Venus in Sagittarius, Mars in Libra(so many generous & kind portraits!), Uranus in Taurus AND North Node at 29 Aries conjuct Pluto @2 Taurus also one of my top painters of all time. His use of the color white: PURE GENIUS.
** Malcolm X was a 28 degree Taurus Sun, Aries Moon, Mercury in Taurus conjunct that Aries Moon, Cap. rising, Retrograde Jupiter in Cap.in the first, Saturn in Scorpio, Mars in Crab conjunct Lilith and Pluto. You can see his whole life in that chart. The Malcolm X was the EVERYTHING. Who would we even be now without him?
Here is a re:post from November 2013. Saturn was in Scorpio then, and Venus would retrograde in Capricorn that December, as it will this December… only this time she will intertwine with Pluto not for a day or two, but for weeks on end… it’s going to be BIG. More to come on that soon. For now, this:
Saturn Squaring my Mercury is taking away my will to write.
As if I will be less and less understood. Mum’s the word.
Meanwhile, in another part of my life,
I have to write letter after wretched letter in legalese.
I know I know, I have allll the fun.
My father Keith died around this time of year, and it doesn’t ruin it for me,
but with the Libra Moon under fire from Uranus and Pluto,
it brings out an undertone that honestly, at this moment, is already there.
I was reminded of the summer before he died.
Keith took a trip, to visit some friends, a family reunion.
Clearly his last, (a funny word trip: to stumble, to have a psychedelic experience, to voyage.)
Doing such things as opening a window were at this point notably strenuous.
It hurt to watch him use his energy that way, to spend it, when he would never get it back.
But then, what would he save it for?
He was dying. Why not stand and open the window himself?
So I had to watch, we all watched as he did the things it was still possible to do.
His voice was not gone yet, and he sang beautifully.
Little snippits of song. Captured clear as a pinned butterfly.
We walked across the lawn, and sat outside at my mother’s house.
My mother, who had spent the last 25 years hating him.
Never a good word to say, and yet, never really considered another man,
as if all men everywhere were intrinsically beneath him, a subspecies she could not possibly admit.
Whereas he seemed to feel rather more simply that my mother was crazy, and he was a fool to have tangled with her at all. Glad to have made it out and away as fast as he did.
I remember a cautionary lecture, after he looked at my palms, the pinkies in particular,
(he was a palmist) where he warned me not to place too much emphasis on sex.
That was, Keith said, what had happened with my mother and him. They got hot, had some kids, and I should not follow suit.
So there we were, with a woman he never spoke to, his ex-wife, whom he loathed,
eating cheese and crackers on lawn chairs in bright sunlight.
I now imagine this was some kind of gift intended for my brother and I, but never received.
They say all children wish there parents back together, but some cliches are not to be believed.
We watched my mother, hugely conscious of her imaginary generosity, her clear awareness of her victory. She would outlive him.
We watched what seemed to be infinite patience that my father drew on, or was it almost a type of innocence, as he lay on her couch beside my two month old daughter, and closed his eyes.
It’s a good day to begin something pure and complicated.
The very idea of purity is complicated, isn’t it?
What can be possessed? And what is possessed is changed by the possession.
What could possibly be more complicated than a new born baby, or a bride?
What could be more complicated than a dream to… I don’t know… do almost anything… start a business, move to a foreign city, or how about this: have a crush on someone… the very word is a challenge… What will happen because of what you desire?
The faith that someone has placed in you?
The trust that you can not bear to betray no matter the cost to you, or to them? And Scorpio always thinks about cost.
All choices are complex, but we begin to choose now anyway, as it’s a beginning time.
I’d like to read you a poem by M’Billa Meekers, It’s called
Louis Congo in Love
Louis Congo was a slave owned by the Company of the Indies. In 1725, he was freed to become New Orleans’ first executioner. By taking this post, he was able to negotiate to have his wife live with him in his own house.
For you, my fleur, I toil
on the route of these slaves’ escape:
15 pounds a head, planted on pikes
along the levee’s edge.
You walk past them every day,
but when the skin over their severed necks
curls up like old paper and their lips,
cracked from sun, begin to slacken,
you turn away from the worms,
reaching through their teeth,
and I wish the slaves
had chosen another route to follow,
one through the swampland,
one you’d never find.
Through the window, I watch
you sidestep the rotting magnolias
that mark the path to our home.
I remember then how once you turned
my hands over and over
as through you’d lost something there.
But you never mentioned
the red crust I couldn’t clean
from beneath my nails some nights.
You’d just turn my hands over again
and watch them drop to my sides.
In another way, it’s simple, isn’t it? When you are brought to the place, you make the choice, snap, one cord is cut and another is woven. Entwined.
Is there such a thing as an inevitable surprise?
Could there be one?
There is a fate maxtrix on this New Moon for sure.
I often think that fate comes to us as a situation.
A place you were always going to arrive.
Your free will is what you do when you get there.
How else do you explain you standing, or sitting, or pacing, or driving, or walking right now? How else can you account for the tipping point quality of this moment?
Did it have to come to this? Are we so lucky that it has? Does luck even have a meaning, beyond not falling sick on your birthday, or not tumbling down the stairs?
I think -yes- it actually does..
tho it’s hard to see which becomes what until later on.
Could we possibly have induced this to happen?
Isn’t it ever so much more complicated than that?
You do what you do, because you have arrived here, HERE where you were always going to be.
Consider for a moment:
Is there a way in which you are the strongest person you know?
This New Moon contains a jolt, a surprise, could be as simple as a snow day… Surprise.
Could be something with a bit more lasting power.
That’s another Scorpio word. Where do you locate your power?
Between your legs? In your chest?
In something ethereal that straightens your back when you think of it?
Is your power intangible or can you touch it?
In Scorpio season everyone’s power gets touched whether or not you can put it in your hands.
With our New Moon watched over by Saturn and given a sudden Urainian boost, we begin something deep. Deep things by nature have layers, … all the way down to the center of our hot molten earth. People always think of Scorpio as a fire sign, because passion, and autonomy, but it’s liquid sign really, an idea about a complex union, about death which is a certainty, & the synergy at the core of something.
That blood you pump in your heart, sure is wet.
I have another poem, this one by David Whyte, it’s almost a wish, called
The pull is so strong we will not believe
the drawing tide is meant for us,
I mean the gift, the sea,
the place where all the rivers meet.
Easy to forget,
how the great receiving depth
untamed by what we need
needs only what will flow its way.
Easy to feel so far away
and the body so old
it might not even stand the touch.
But what would that be like
feeling the tide rise
out of the numbness inside
toward the place to which we go
washing over our worries of money,
the illusion of being ahead,
the grief of being behind,
our limbs young
rising from such a depth?
What would that be like
even in this century
driving toward work with the others,
moving down the roads
among the thousands swimming upstream,
as if growing toward arrival,
feeling the currents of the great desire,
carrying time toward tomorrow?
Tomorrow seen today, for itself,
the sea where all the rivers meet, unbound,
unbroken for a thousand miles, the surface
of a great silence, the movement of a moment
left completely to itself, to find ourselves adrift,
safe in our unknowing, our very own,
our great tide, our great receiving, our
wordless, fiery, unspoken,
hardly remembered, gift of true longing.
I spent the summer in Maine, and was often at a place where the river met the ocean. I’m not sure if that’s why the poem spoke to me, but there is something in it as if through a progression of water signs… Crab dreams of the security of possession which Scorpio has, and Scorpio dreams of being free and dissolving without danger… which is Pisces…
Of course Scorpio is excellent at being alone, but as alone as you may be, there will always be a fixation; there is always something of value out there to possess and in turn to be possessed by, for we are inhabited by our fixations, our desires. Let’s make them worthy. Worthy of our care and attention, let’s give what is best in us with an open hand…
I think of Mikko Harvey writing:
“The number of hours we have together is actually not so large. Please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. Please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it.”
As we breathe in now, as we are continually breathing, as we breathe together for a moment, we are all intrinsically in motion, inseparable from the limitless power of creation. I’m so happy you are alive and breathing, here with us.
In the fine print of her face
Her eyes are two loopholes.
No, let me start again.
Her eyes are flies in milk,
Her eyes are baby Draculas.
To hell with her eyes.
Let me tell you about her mouth.
Her mouth’s the red cottage
Where the wolf ate Grandma.
Ah, forget about her mouth,
Let me talk about her breasts.
I get a peek at them now and then
And even that’s more than enough
To make me lose my head,
So I better tell you about her legs.
When she crosses them on the sofa
It’s like a jailer unwrapping a parcel
And in that parcel is a Christmas cake
And in that cake a sweet little file
That gasps her name as it files my chains.
Intimacy and Freedom
From Venus to Mars to Jupiter with a very healthy serving of outer planet energy. Especially Pluto, especially now.
–Maria Popova sez:
“The human heart is an ancient beast that roars and purrs with the same passions, whatever labels we may give them. We are so anxious to classify and categorize, both nature and human nature. It is a beautiful impulse—to contain the infinite in the finite, to wrest order from the chaos, to construct a foothold so we may climb toward higher truth. It is also a limiting one, for in naming things we often come to mistake the names for the things themselves. The labels we give to the loves of which we are capable—varied and vigorously transfigured from one kind into another and back again—can’t begin to contain the complexity of feeling that can flow between two hearts and the bodies that contain them.”
Is there depth?
There is depth, there is power, and a surprising amount of harmony considering the scope of the passion and conflict.
I found this piece of very direct advice in my notes, I can’t remember if I wrote it, or if someone else did! I think I did! If it turns out it’s someone else’s and you know who… please oh please tell me!
It goes like this:
The more you realize there can be nothing to lose,
as nothing is yours to keep,
the easier it gets.
So how do you know, when to hold on, and when to let go?
Never try to make anyone do anything.
Set your own goals.
Respect those you trust.
Go as deep as you can.
Wake whatever is sleeping in you.
Believe yourself when you hear the answer.
You can, unfortunately, waste time or talent,
but you can never be too loving or too kind.
If you do whatever you are doing,
from the core of your being, and without malice,
you are doing it right.
You can use those words like a lantern and hold them up for this Full Moon.
Do you want to hear it again?
The more you realize there can be nothing to lose,
as nothing is yours to keep,
the easier it gets.
Never try to make anyone do anything.
Set your own goals.
Respect those you trust.
Go as deep as you can.
Wake whatever is sleeping in you.
Believe yourself when you hear the answer.
You can, unfortunately, waste time or talent,
but you can never be too loving or too kind.
If you do whatever you are doing,
from the core of your being, and without malice,
you are doing it right.
Oh look! Everything is bubbling right up to the surface. Unavoidable, unignorable. Relationships are the everything. Triangles, but the other angles as well.
Venus wants freedom here, let’s not forget about that. What’s attractive is being able to go for what you want. Making your own choice, if you feel the pull of obligation, what you will want to do is pull away…
Does somebody get very, very angry? It’s hard to say, but certainly possible, and possibly justified.
If you usually suppress your feelings, you may not have the easiest time doing so…
Freedom is the big play here, although we want to be fair, we want even more to be free. Free to what? Free to pursue our own desire.
― Roberto Bolaño tells us:
“Nothing good ever comes of love. What comes of love is always something better”
Perhaps someone is going to be liberated? Perhaps the truth is going to show up in a way that counts.
–Ilya Kaminsky writes
Once or twice in his life, a man
is peeled like apples.
What’s left is a voice
that splits his being
down to the center.
We see: obscenity, fright, mud
but there is joy of shape, there is
more than one silence.
Since this is not the time to hold back your feelings, let them in, give them room. If you are in conflict, be direct: don’t play both sides.
-You said what you said.-
Whatever ends now is rapidly shrinking in your rear view mirror, is covered in dust kicked up by the horse you are riding. You can only go in one direction now. GO.
By the time this moon arrives it’s not only you who wants freedom and justice… we all do, to our own sense, and by our own lights…. by the time this moon arrives… we will have thought it over so many times, by the time this moon arrives, this moon will be right on time.
I would leave us here, but instead I’ll give you this sentimental piece by Charlie Chaplan. He was an Aries with Mercury in Aries, and it might hit for our Aries Full Moon.
I have forgiven mistakes that were indeed almost unforgivable. I’ve tried to replace people who were irreplaceable and tried to forget those who were unforgettable. I’ve acted on impulse, have been disappointed by people when I thought that this could never be possible. But I have also disappointed those who I love. I have laughed at inappropriate occasions. I’ve made friends that are now friends for life. I’ve screamed and jumped for joy. I’ve loved and I’ve been loved.
But I have also been rejected, and I have been loved without loving the person back. I’ve lived for love alone and made vows of eternal love. I’ve had my heart broken many, many times! I’ve cried while listening to music and looking at old pictures. I’ve called someone just to hear their voice on the other side. I have fallen in love with a smile. At times, I thought I would die because I missed someone so much. At other times, I felt very afraid that I might lose someone very special (which ended up happening anyway). But I have lived! And I still continue living everyday.
I’m not just passing through life…and you shouldn’t either. Live! The best thing in life is to go ahead with all your plans and your dreams, to embrace life and to live everyday with passion, to lose and still keep the faith and to win while being grateful. All of this because the world belongs to those who dare to go after what they want. And because life is really too short to be insignificant.”
Spoken like an Aries ! So brave. That’s the ticket for our Full Moon in Aries. Go ahead. Live. And as much as I feel we ought to exit the ring cheered on by our adoring fans, maybe we could still take a moment and breathe.
In every conceivable imagining you are inseparable from the limitless power of creation. As you breathe in, the air becomes you. I’m so glad that you are alive and breathing here with us.
*Kehinde Wiley p.s.
if any of this is your art, please tell me and I will credit you!
OH MAAAAAAAAN! The podcast is a Mercury Retrograde Special …
It really really is!
Take a listen:
I’ve got a poem for you:
“To hear never-heard sounds,
To see never-seen colors and shapes,
To try to understand the imperceptible
Power pervading the world;
To fly and find pure ethereal substances
That are not of matter
But of that invisible soul pervading reality.
To hear another soul and to whisper to another soul;
To be a lantern in the darkness
Or an umbrella in a stormy day;
To feel much more than know.
To be the eyes of an eagle, slope of a mountain;
To be a wave understanding the influence of the moon;
To be a tree and read the memory of the leaves;
To be an insignificant pedestrian on the streets
Of crazy cities watching, watching, and watching.
To be a smile on the face of a woman
And shine in her memory
As a moment saved without planning.”
— Dejan Stojanovic
It’s a new phase. It’s a new phase about a situation you are already in… or one you return to. It’s progress. What it looks like is, it may be time to open a door. You may want to, or you may not want to, it still opens: Irresistible or necessary. There is a need to it.
Desire can’t sleep all year, she’s had enough of better safe than sorry, now she would like some experience for herself. Now she would like to know.
What happened around March 26-28th of this year, 2021 ?
In October, there will be an overlap of themes. A redo, a begin again, or a new start.
This is where the wind blows open the door and you wander out into the swirl of fall leaves because something is going to happen.
October is a sort of reckoning and we will have the strength for it: The fact is, as much as Libra is famous for his indision, Libra is a sign that initiates action. It’s a partner dance, it’s fencing, or wushu, you make a move and they make a move…
You can’t do it alone. As you move, your impact spreads and the dance changes, more power, more elements at play, perhaps more desire for control.
Issues make their way into the open… Time’s up.
Now you know, and you can’t unknow it.
We begin to dance the steps we have been avoiding all summer… open up, you can’t do it with your eyes closed. Whatever it is, painful, beautiful, wondrous, mind blowing, take a moment and welcome all of it into your consciousness.
Alan Watts has this great idea about the present changing the past. He writes:
-We must abandon completely the notion of blaming the past for any kind of situation we’re in and reverse our thinking and see that the past always flows back from the present. That now is the creative point of life…..
Also, watch the flow of music. The melody as it’s expressed is changed by notes that come later. Just as the meaning of a sentence—you wait till later to find out what the sentence means… The present is always changing the past.-
A pivot point. Here we are nearing the time to take a look in the box we thought was shut tight…. Or walk away where we had intended to stay.
Jupiter opens the door, and Pluto goes this little thing we like to call direct. It’s a very soft hammer… but don’t worry… it will firm up as we go along.
Mars in Libra is emphasized as Venus moves from Scorpio to Sagittarius. Jupiter rules. That’s freedom, and as time goes on, justice.
So much is set in motion now, AND although you may not be in a position to realize ALL potentials, we can’t say there is no drive to act, or that nothing comes of it… because OH IT DOES. It does. We do.
Still fully enmeshed in old concerns, we pursue new avenues, ( I almost want to say new adventures) like a river that flows into tributaries without losing force… Some of us will change direction, but for many, it’s simply that what has been happening underneath can not be denied.
There is an incredible rush of energy to make something happen, and even if that energy is misplaced or awkwardly received, it does not dissipate.. it builds and flows. It’s possible, actually possible that you land on target. Direct hit.
As it happens, any way that it happens, our New Moon starts a ball rolling avalanche style. As the weeks pass, October breathes life into itself.
Pluto tips your hand, or you tip your own hand. Cards out. This can be seen.
We no longer prepare to struggle or handle what comes next, instead, we enter into it.
— Terry Pratchett sez:
“There should be a word for the microscopic spark of hope that you dare not entertain in case the mere act of acknowledging it will cause it to vanish, like trying to look at a photon. You can only sidle up to it, looking past it, walking past it, waiting for it to get big enough to face the world.”
I think we have done it. I almost want to tell you: Good game, Nice hustle. Now go put a bandaid on that bleeding shin.
No really, all of our hopes are now about to interact with each other’s hopes. Our preparations end in October. Not all in a lump on the 6th, but as dominoes, we tip and slide into a time less isolated, less introspective, less austere.
It may become messy, but it will also come alive, and in that life, our hearts wake up and we dare to synthesize, to stop holding our breath and just breathe in what is, and breathe out what is becoming.
Or we can say it the other way, we breathe in what we are becoming and breathe out what is.
Let’s do that now. Let’s breathe together, inseparable from the limitless power of creation. In every conceivable imagining we are intertwined. I’m so glad you are alive and breathing here with us.
It’s messy and human and wet. And analytical and indecisive and passionate and stubborn, and compromising and hopeful and hopeless and delusional. It’s all bets are off and it’s when we are protozoa and exist and flounder and some may make, or take, some very sharp cuts.
Manipulation, partial revelation, deep conversation, deep consequences, final straws, strokes of luck, fantastic projections, it’s all there.
Who wants to revisit a conversation?
Are there places in your life where you are negotiating a relationship?
Our Full Moon in Pisces conjunct Neptune, across from the Sun conjunct Mars pits our will against our emotions.
Or maybe it marries them? It makes them fight?
What happens is sort of an everything.
There is not only a single outcome, tho there may also be one, or more than one.
In the final stanza of Wallace Stevens’ The poems of our climate, he says:
-The imperfect is our paradise.
Note that, in this bitterness, delight,
since the imperfect is so hot in us,
lies in flawed words and stubborn sounds.-
What happens now is that the Full Moon moves the plot.
Or I should say, the actions we take, the experiences we have, move the plot. Even if, and this may be true, even if, some of the movement can’t be seen by us all.
Invisible forces rule everything. I could explain that, but you are much too smart. I mean, do they not?
I’ve got a Rumi poem, I don’t usually do him, but I will now, translated by E.H. Whinfield:
Love is reckless; not reason.
Reason seeks a profit.
Love comes on strong, consuming herself, unabashed.
Yet, in the midst of suffering,
Love proceeds like a millstone,
hard surfaced and straightforward.
Having died of self-interest,
she risks everything and asks for nothing.
Love gambles away every gift God bestows.
Without cause God gave us Being;
give it back again.
A question may come up of who was hurt, who is at fault, who or what should be held tight, and what must be let go.
Stephan Levine wrote: ( and I want to read this to you not because your heart will break, but because we can’t do Virgo and Pisces without healing and Mercy)
— There comes a point where it is more important to just let our heart break and get on with it than to keep trying to figure out why we are so often in pain or who’s at fault and what sort of punishment they deserve.
It takes a lot of work to get healed, to merge the heart and the disheartened. But even in the least observation, it becomes clear that no one needs any excuse for being in so much pain. Wherever there is expectation or broken hope, disappointment or loss, there is the stuff of Shakespearean malady.
Healing is entering, with mercy and awareness, into those areas of ourselves we have withdrawn from with fear and a sense of helplessness. Healing is reoccupying those parts of ourselves that we abandoned because of mental or physical pain. Healing is replacing our merciless reactions with a merciful response.
Without mercy, we don’t have a chance.
And that chance is the breadth of heart that is our birthright.–
We can think of this Full Moon as a bit of preamble to topics we will see over Mercury’s retrograde in Libra, which begins on September 26, and lasts until October 19th!
For in October, while in our Mercury retrograde we finally arrive at the moments when Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto go direct! The shoes you have been waiting on, they will drop! These places you have been left hanging, the phone call that consistently goes into the void… someone will pick up. A story resumes. BELIEVE ME: Wild times.
By October 19, you will know the answers to questions that you really don’t know now, or should I say, to be fair, you will begin living questions you don’t currently have access to.
To go all the way over there… to be ready, we do this.
– The future is an inﬁnite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in deﬁance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory. – That’s what Howard Zinn says.
I think of Barbara Brown Taylor saying:
-Darkness is not something you go through. It is God’s home.-
I’ll say that one more time, because there are a lot of ideas packed in there.
-Darkness is not something you go through. It is God’s home.-
Let’s take a moment to breathe together. I’m so glad you have arrived here, here where everything is always in motion. There are no meaningful separations between your molecules and the molecules that surround you. We are all of us, alive and in motion breathing together. I’m so glad you are alive and breathing, here with us.
-There are good reasons for being obedient, but being unable to be disobedient is not one of the best reasons.-
The name of this moon is Exact Change. That’s only sort of a pun.
Retrograde Uranus at 14 degrees juuust about drop kicks the Sun/Moon conjunction at 14 degrees.
This lunation is going to yeet you into another reality.
In a good way. In the best possible way.
Here is the thing: Virgo is the Magician.
Pat O’Shea writes
“There’s always a lot of magic, but our way of seeing it is very small and we mostly just call it Nature. Why, we are not at all surprised that we can pick up an apple in autumn that was a pink flower in the spring. That’s natural magic and we don’t really notice it.”
Magic. Ruled by Mercury, The Magician takes what is conceptual and turns it into a physical manifestation. A rabbit out of a hat, the very idea of surprise, naturally, flowers up your sleeve…
You choose and you Virgo it into being. An idea about reality becomes your actual life. This moon is going to show you how to choose. This moon is going to show you where you have already chosen.
This moon tips your cards and shows your hand. Watch what happens in the two weeks after this.
Let’s read an excerpt from Genesis by – Mary Ruefle
Oh, I said, this is going to be.
And it was.
Oh, I said, this will never happen.
But it did.
Virgo is the translator: translucent becomes opaque, presto changeo, matter is born. Whatever is unnecessary is discarded, yes, there are details, but only ones you need. Clarity… discernment, practical, sincere, uncluttered, clear.
The North Node, Saturn, and Mercury make a triangle, echoing an idea Venus had earlier. That looks like a promise, an agreement.
A chance that has somehow become fate.
Pablo Neruda has a wonderful poem about birth.
Conception, and then birth I think, is the ultimate example of a chance somehow becoming fate. A combination of Heat and Will becomes life, your life, someone’s life.
It’s well known that we were all born.
But if that abrupt translation
from not being to existing, to having hands,
to seeing, to having eyes,
to eating and weeping and overflowing
and loving and loving and suffering and suffering,
of that transition, that quivering
of an electric presence, raising up
one body more, like a living cup,
and of that woman left empty,
the mother who is left there in her blood
and her lacerated fullness,
and its end and its beginning, and disorder
tumbling the pulse, the floor, the covers
till everything comes together and adds
one knot more to the thread of life,
nothing, nothing remains in your memory
of the savage sea which summoned up a wave
and plucked a shrouded apple from the tree.
The only thing you remember is your life.
A closed door opens.
We are born into this next season, the one called Fall, and it comes with a gift.
It’s not casual, in fact I would argue that it’s one of the strongest New Moons of the year. The aspects for our Virgo restart are very precise, very deep, and very strong.
I would say it’s gorgeous, and it is, but it also reminds me of someone saying “It’s not for nothing” in a thick New York accent. This New Moon is not for nothing.
Set your intentions, make your wishes.
How will you serve in whatever role you take? What would you like to give?
It’s not about you, or not only, not exactly
Mars trines PLUTO
Venus trines Jupiter
Venus Squares Pluto
There is a LOT of power here. A LOT
Open secrets, everything used to a benefit.
Uranus in this case ruled by Venus, trines the Sun Moon conjunction.
It’s a push.
Jupiter approves and Pluto adds intrigue.
It’s a push with a blessing and consequences.
Good comes from this moment: results, whether pleasurable or not, will be beneficial and long lasting.
This will open some doors that you don’t really shut ever again.
Mercury trines Saturn and opposes Chiron, what you know is real: birth contains pain.
Let’s welcome the beautifully imperfect and wonderously made future, which is actually now, actually the present. This moment where we breathe in and the air becomes our body, and we breathe in again and feel now how alive we are, alive in a living world, full of endless energy and motion, inseparable from the limitless power of creation.
I’m so glad you are alive and breathing here with us.
* This episode contains accidental bonus material!
At the last moment of LEO, at 29 degrees LEO, where we are now, let’s imagine within you, a fragment of Sun, an endless renewable resource, a flame. And like our solar Sun, you will burn all the while, the whole time you exist, and that whole time will be an eternity…
Let’s connect to this idea that your consciousness is omnipresent, moving as a flame does, continuously vital and alive.
On cloudy days, maybe you can’t even see you, you can’t find yourself, but there you are, burning off the haze, keeping yourself warm, soft and bright.
It’s a moment where you might understand your own needs, and you might accept yourself without apology. Having weighed your feelings and your commitments, you do what’s next, naturally.
There may be a note of intuition, (good, helpful) or of facts versus the spin that could be placed on them, (less good, less helpful) the gloss that covers over, or the ways we choose not to see.
I read a poem by Keith S. Wilson and I can’t stop hearing it. It’s called
after D.H. Lawrence
shall i tell you, then, that we exist?
there came a light, blue and white careening.
the police like wailing angels
to bitter me.
and so this:
dark matter is hypothetical. know
that it cannot be seen
in the gunpowder of a flower,
in a worm that raisins on the concrete,
in a man that wills himself not to speak.
gags, oh gags.
for a shadow cannot breathe.
it deprives them of nothing. pride
is born in the black and then dies in it.
i hear our shadow, low treble
of the clasping of our hands.
dark matter is invisible.
we infer it: how light bends around a black body,
and still you do not see black halos, even here,
my having told you plainly where they are.
Don’t confuse yourself, and don’t let anyone confuse you. Love here looks like integrity, like equilibrium, like betting on yourself to grow, to win.
You don’t have to reach for this one. It’s right here. The future has arrived once again, as ever, it’s fresh.
Ideas about symmetry and fairness come into it, ideas about innovation and relationship, autonomy, and perhaps even something to the tune of destiny… You may not keep your balance, but for a moment, you have it. It just happens.
Saturn trines Venus and the North Node very tightly, 7, 7, and 8 degrees, all Aquarius, Libra, Gemini.
The emphasis is on innovation, a Moon/Jupiter breakthru/break free sort of a conduit or connector, a link between where you are and where you are going.
Put it on the scales. You may take a chance on yourself, and if you do, you should.
An element of Justice may be at play, or a surprise of some kind. Words may be sharp, and could even cut you, but they will not be deliberately cruel.
– We know perfectly well from the moment that we know anything about mortal existence, that it is mortal, in the sense that there’s no hope—you’re going to die. And yet, we go on, our hope is involved in what happens every day as we wake up and go through it and meet friends and talk and read poems and see the light come and go. Our hope is not a thing in the future; it’s a way of seeing the present.-
W.S. Merwin wrote that.
I read a bumper sticker on someone’s witchy car the other day and it said “ BUT DID YOU DIE?!” and I had to laugh, all the way down deep, because someday I will, and today I did not.
Allow that you can be renewed for what counts as this forever.
Let it be a moment where you can understand yourself, and act kindly in your own best interest. This lunation carries the idea that since you are going to have a future, it should be one that suits.
— Oliver Burkeman writes — When stumped by a life choice, choose “enlargement” over happiness. I’m indebted to the Jungian therapist James Hollis for the insight that major personal decisions should be made not by asking, “Will this make me happy?”, but “Will this choice enlarge me or diminish me?”
And that’s the jam. As ever, we work toward liberation in all senses.
Growing toward what brings us to life.
The places we find wonder and possibility, become our revolution, choosing to
expand, to trust, never never shoehorning ourselves into a situation as if we were
not in motion.
Building, as in nature, a nest, a beehive, a migration pattern, a chrysalis, a den, a hermit crab shell that is the right size for who you are becoming, always choosing a scenario that gives you room to grow.
You ARE growing, and it’s beautiful to see. It should be wonderfully, terrifyingly, brilliantly clear that there is no other way.
As you breathe in now, air enters your body and becomes your body. You are very much alive. Every cell and particle of you is in motion. There are no separations between the molecules that surround you and the molecules that ARE you. I’m so glad you are alive and breathing here with us.
Bei Dao, Leo Poet Poster Boy sez:
scared out of our wits
carry lanterns chasing spring
scars gleam, cups rotate
rays of light are created
watch for that moment of bewitchery
a thief steals into the post office
letters send out shrieks
nails, oh nails
the words of this song will not be changed
firewood huddled closely
searching for an audience
searching for the heart of winter
the end of the stream
the boatman waits for all-penetrating dusk
Let’s consider something Andreas Weber wrote for The Biology of Wonder
— The plant that directs its growth tendency to the light does not understand the arithmetic of wavelengths; it simply perceives light as good in the form of a positive affection. […] Today’s botanists have used ingenious experiments to confirm the subjectivity of plants. [They] observed that identical plant clones — multiple vegetative twins whose DNA sequences are identical to the letter — behave differently, even though room temperature and substrate moisture are the same. They are clones, but their bodies unfold into individual shapes. They individually choose between different options […]. Every sprout has its own preferences. Each is an individual, not simply an automaton carrying out a genetic blueprint. […].
Intelligence, according to the meaning of the Latin verb intelligere, means to be in between, to be able to choose. It signifies the ability to make a decision, and hence the judgment of a distinct self for whom a choice means something — survival, growth, flourishing. In this sense intelligence and life are one and the same thing. —
Something wants to be born.
What was fertilized between July 9 & July 13th is activated.
Leo is the center of the thing, and also the creator.
As if a flower gave birth to itself, which it does through its seeds all the time.
If you want to feel rewarded by August 22, you have to act now. Act NOW!
How does that sound? Like a salesman, or as if I am trying to convince you? Here’s the trick of it, I won’t have to.
creates the situation,
and, then, the situation
It may, of course,
be the other way around:
Columbus was discovered
by what he found. –
James Baldwin wrote that
Things I can tell you about the New Moon in Leo on August 8th:
and oddly practical or may pit a dream against reality; they’ll have to synergize one way or another.
We are the generator and the creation. The Parent and the Child. The Artist and the Critic. We are our own best/worst audience, our continual champion, our most loyal and unforgiving friend… what beautiful unprecedented radiance are we making of ourselves now?
Mercury joins the Sun/Moon conjunction, suggesting that there is something you know, you really do know it, and with Mars and Venus in Virgo, as much as you would like to wait for the perfect moment that never arrives, you will find yourself moving forward. Opening to a change that takes its roots in dreams and desire.
Don’t worry, you’ll find a way to work the logistics…perhaps you already have…
For now, you do what you want.
It will be right. If you look inward, you will find it has been there a long while, waiting to be recognized, like a song you hear on the radio, that you find yourself humming later in the day…
W.S. Merwin writes:
« Watching the first sunlight
touch the tops of the palms
what could I ask […]
I dream I am here
in the morning
and the dream is its own time […]
There I am
in the east wind
No one is in the garden
the autumn daisies
have the day to themselves […]
I needed my mistakes
in their own order
to get me here […]
I call that singing bird my friend
though I know nothing else about him
and he does not know I exist […]
In my youth I believed in somewhere else
I put faith in travel
now I am becoming my own tree. »
Here is another one, by Alice Walker
– Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger, spiritually, than we were before. Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it, as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of the earth as it seeks to break out of its shell on its way to becoming a plant. Often the feeling is anything but pleasant. But what is most unpleasant is the not knowing what is happening. Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.-
However it happens, we experience a magic trick, our long foggy summer has led somewhere after all..
In the northern hemisphere, every July and August, little birds take flight. How would you describe that moment?
Haven’t they been growing all along? From the dark of the shell to that wet embodiment of pure need and hunger, mostly beak, one way or another they have gotten fed. And here they are, ready for what is both unimaginable and inevitable.
I have another piece of a James Baldwin poem, this one entitled:
-Munich, Winter 1973 (for Y.S.)-
… Just as the birds above our heads
that, in what lies before them,
the always unknown passage,
wind, water, air,
the failing light
the failing night
the blinding sun
they must get the journey done.
They have wings and voices
are making choices
are using what they have.
They are aware
that, on long journeys,
each bears the other,
in the middle of the terrifying air.
A couple of weeks ago we had accidents and experiments… how did you respond, which wires were tripped, and where did they take you?
Our liberation is not complete, but something grows in the heart of it. Some kind of love that satisfies.
It could be artistic, or romantic, playful, or even healing. What is certain is that our New Moon is good, in the exact way of the warmest life-giving sunshine, available even on a cloudy day, (we are here, aren’t we?) It’s generative, and real.
As we breathe now, let’s breathe into the infinite mystery and limitless power of creation. All of our infinite vibrations are inseparable from the vibrations surrounding us, so entwined. I’m happy you are alive and breathing here with us.